Is Your Child Scared of Sleepovers? Protect Your Health

Is Your Child Scared of Sleepovers?

Posted on Saturday, 24th September 2011 by Brooke Richmond

Children are often scared of sleepovers, but their fears may stem from very different sources. Some children may be scared of wetting the bed, others may not be able to fall asleep, while for many just being away from home for the first time or a length of time can greatly increase anxiety. If your child is afraid of the dark and sleeps with a night light, it is likely the embarrassment of asking to sleep with a light on that is causing the anxiety and not physically being away from home. Dont assume to know the source of your childs fear when you sense that your son or daughter is scared to sleep away from home. Always ask if he or she can name what it is that they are scared of. If they can you are one step closer to helping them move past it.

Using Relatable Stories to Address Fear

Books can be a useful way to address fears, particularly with younger children. Roberta Bakers picture book Olives First Sleepover tells the story of Olive Elizabeth Julia Jeromes first sleepover at her friend Lizard Wallinskys house. At first Olive and Lizard are very excited by the idea, but the closer she gets to bedtime, the more nervous she becomes. Baker has Olive confront several scary situations, the dark and scary noises are two, and shows how Olive handles, and ultimately conquers, her fear of sleeping over. Parents can read this book and talk with their child about things they could do if they got scared away from home.

Host a Mock Sleepover

One way to get your child used to the idea of sleeping away from home is by hosting a mock sleepover. Ideally this would be done at your childs friends house, but if their parents arent on board or its too hard to arrange try to host it at a family members house. The idea is that your child will become more comfortable going through the ritual of bedtime while away from their own comfort zone. Have your child and their friend participate in the same things they would do at a normal sleepover. This might include eating dinner together, watching a movie on television, playing a board game, brushing teeth and then putting on pajamas. Set up the room they will be “sleeping” in as if it were a real sleepover. If theyll be using sleeping bags, set them up and have the kids snuggle in. Then pack everything up and take your child home.

Once home, talk your child through the bedtime routine they just practiced. How did they feel getting ready for bed? What would be different if you werent there? Your child may need to do this several times before he or she is ready for the real thing, but chances are it wont take too long.

Pack a Sleepover Emergency Kit

In the book Scaredy Squirrel by Melanie Watts the delightful main character is scared of lots of things. Bees, poison ivy, martians…all are terrifying to Scaredy Squirrel. So to ensure that hes always prepared, he packs an emergency kit. His kit is filled with things like bug spray (for the bees) and calamine lotion (for the poison ivy). Let your child decide what they need in their sleepover emergency kit. Some suggestions might be a flashlight (for those afraid of the dark), a book or paper and markers (for those afraid they cant fall asleep), a picture of the family (for those worried about missing home), or even moms or dads cell phone, just for the night, (for those who might need to be sure they can call home if they cant sleep).

Be Patient

Sleepover fears are not uncommon, and children are ready for their first sleepovers at different times. If it seems like all of your childs friends are having slumber parties, and your child is the only one uncomfortable, dont worry. Let them go to the party and decide for themselves whether theyre comfortable staying. Giving your child the option of coming home may be the added confidence they need to stay but dont be discouraged if you have to pick your child up the first attempt or two, eventually they will become more comfortable.

If you must leave your child for the night, for work or travel, be sure to let the adult in charge know about your childs fears. With a little extra “TLC” they are likely to have a more successful night then they imagined, and you will feel more relieved knowing someone is keeping an extra eye on your child.

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