Posted on Sunday, 12th September 2010 by Marcus Gollan


NOTE: This story contains language that some may find offensive.

Behind that big smile and lots of friends was a shy, loyal 15-year-old boy who loved to play the cello. Justin Aaberg came out as gay when he was 13 and, as his mom found out only after he hanged himself, suffered tremendously inside.

“I actually thought he had the perfect life. I thought out of anybody I knew that he had the perfect life,” said Justin Aaberg’s mother, Tammy Aaberg. “But I guess he didn’t think so.”

In the weeks since she found her son dead in his room on July 9, Tammy Aaberg has heard from many of her son’s friends at Anoka High School. They told her Justin Aaberg had been bullied and had recently broken up with his boyfriend.

Those same students also opened up about their own experiences, telling her they feel harassed and unsafe as gay and lesbian students.

“These kids, they just hate themselves. They literally feel like they want to die. So many kids are telling me this,” said Tammy Aaberg, fighting tears.

She spoke up at a recent Anoka-Hennepin School Board meeting about the district’s sexual orientation curriculum policy which states, in part, “Teaching about sexual orientation is not a part of the District adopted curriculum; rather, such matters are best addressed within individual family homes, churches, or community organizations.”

“I’m asking you all to rewrite the policy in order to give teachers training in how to be more sensitive to GLBT students,” Tammy Aaberg told the School Board on Aug. 23.

After Tammy Aaberg spoke, two other recent graduates spoke too. One was a lesbian student who asked not to be identified.

“If you have students feeling like they’re isolated, like they have no one to turn to, and then they fill with self-hatred, are we surprised that we’re having suicides in the district by GLBT students? Something needs to happen,” said the graduate.

That student and a teacher, who also asked not to be identified, believe three of the five suicides in the Anoka-Hennepin District last year were because of struggles with sexual identity. They say name-calling and bullying happen often in the district because teachers and students don’t stand up to it.

The teachers said that’s partly because other teachers are scared and confused about how to interpret the curriculum policy.

The Anoka-Hennepin School District said the curriculum policy and bullying are two entirely separate issues.

“It’s very difficult. We have a community that has widely varying opinions, and so to respect all families, as the policy says, we ask teachers to remain neutral,” said District Spokeswoman Mary Olson.

Olson said the district doesn’t tolerate bullying and expects staff to stand up to it, but does acknowledge it happens to gay and lesbian students at school. She said the schools are adding some new training to their anti-bullying policy, which is currently seven years old.

Teachers will get a new training on sexual orientation and harassment. Every student will also be shown a video to lay out what that might mean.

A clip from one of the videos shows students acting out a scenario:

“The word ‘fag,’ the word ‘dyke’ is also awful,” says one student.

“When I hear kids say the word ‘fag’ in front of a teacher all time, and the teacher doesn’t even say anything,” responds another.

The teacher tells both, “You’re right, they should say something.”

Olson said the district doesn’t have any plans to change its curriculum policy but thinks the new training will have an impact.

“Certainly that is a huge concern for us because we work really hard to make sure that our schools are safe,” she said.

Tammy Aaberg isn’t so sure that will work. According to her, there needs to be more than training. She wants a culture shift where more people accept people like her son.

“It’s not easy. I just miss him so much and I worry that there’s going to be more kids,” she said.

If you are worried about someone who shows signs of depression, SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) offers many resources on suicide prevention and depression information. You can reach them at 1-800-273-8255.

Similar Posts:

Share

Posted in Health Guide | No Comments »

Leave a Reply